Special – How To Become a Superstar DJ in 6 Easy Steps

Hey! Have you ever thought to yourself “Man, I love music. I have almost 500 songs on my iPod.  I can probably play one song following another song.  I should be a DJ.” Or have you been DJing in your basement for years, thinking “I’m better than those DJs playing at the club.  I need to play for larger audiences than just my mom’s cats.” Well, StuffDJsHate.com is here to help. We are in a time when any former Playboy bunny or reality TV “star” can get paid ridiculous sums of money to DJ. Here’s your quick and easy guide to getting your share…

trainspotting

(No, not the movie.  That kicks ass)

Trainspotting is the term for looking over the DJ’s shoulder to see what he’s playing.

It’s really fucking irritating.

It wasn’t a problem when everyone spun vinyl.
But now we are in the MP3 age and damn near every DJ uses a laptop.

Apparently some people would prefer to look at my computer screen

Instead of dancing, drinking, and having fun. Which makes no sense.

Sometimes I’m in a booth where no one is behind me, so it’s not a problem.
But lots of times I DJ in areas that are more open,

Or have people hanging out in the booth (like friends of owners or promoters)

Other DJs will do it from time to time, even though it’s a known faux pas

They might want to know what song/remix I’m playing so they can get it.

Or they might want to gaze upon the impeccable organization of my music folders.

But they don’t want to actually ask me anything and fear being seen as an inferior DJ

I get that.  But I don’t get when random customers come up and start doing it.

What’s the point?

Are you excited that you will know the next song 10 seconds before everyone else does?

Are you going to really remember the name of the song and download it tomorrow?

Are you going to make some suggestions? (Here’s a suggestion – Don’t.)
You don’t look over the shoulder of a painter or writer or, hell, even an accountant.

You wouldn’t want someone looking over your shoulder at work, would you?

Especially with the amount of time you spend playing minesweeper in your cubicle.

Special – How To Become a Superstar DJ in 6 Easy Steps

Hey! Have you ever thought to yourself “Man, I love music. I have almost 500 songs on my iPod.  I can probably play one song following another song.  I should be a DJ.” Or have you been DJing in your basement for years, thinking “I’m better than those DJs playing at the club.  I need to play for larger audiences than just my mom’s cats.” Well, StuffDJsHate.com is here to help. We are in a time when any former Playboy bunny or reality TV “star” can get paid ridiculous sums of money to DJ. Here’s your quick and easy guide to getting your share…

“how many more songs?”

How many more songs am I going to play? Total?

Oh, until I play the song that you just requested 3 minutes ago?

Three? Five? Four thousand and sixteen?

Ok, well then what time am I playing your request?

guys asking about equipment

I hate when guys stare at my equipment and start asking a million questions.

I call these dudes “reporters” because I feel like I’m being interviewed.

“What kind of turntable is that? Technic? Nice.  I have a Numark.”

“What kind of mixer is that? Is it yours? How much did it cost?”

“can I plug this in?”

The DJ booth is full of wires, plugs, cables, and random cords.

There usually aren’t enough outlets for all the equipment that I need.

Rarely is there an extra outlet for you to plug your phone into.

“youtube it!”

This ridiculous command comes about in one of two ways.

Option 1 – You ask for a song, I tell you I don’t have it.

(Which really just means I don’t want to play it, by the way.)

You tell me it’s on YouTube, and I can just play it off of there.