your stupid f’ing phone

As noted in a previous post, phones today hold a ton of music.
This is creating a new trend – one that I can’t fucking stand.
You come up to the booth and just shove your phone/ipod/walkman in my face.
You don’t say anything, you just expect me to play the song on your phone.
If I say I don’t have it (ie – I don’t want to play it) you hand me your phone and expect me to plug it into the mixer.
It doesn’t work like that for so many reasons that I won’t even get into it.
Then there’s other people who write their requests on their phone’s notepad app thing.
They shove their phone in my face and want me to read it.
As much as I don’t want to talk to you, I really don’t want to have to read shit off your phone.
So, unless you are Helen Keller, please use your words.


13 Responses to “your stupid f’ing phone”

  1. 1 Jwin
    November 16, 2011 at 1:44 AM

    How about when they want you to hear a song from their phone? Hahahah

  2. 2 Anonymous
    November 16, 2011 at 6:46 AM

    I swear that the next time somebody hands me their phone, I’m going to take it out of their hands and while chatting with them secretly take out their SIM card.

  3. 3 DJ Jimmy G
    November 16, 2011 at 6:23 PM

    Some reasons:

    1. The sound quality of your phone is absolute shit.
    2. Who knows what other sounds would play out of your phone during a song.
    3. Your phone could shut off/stop playing at any moment.
    4. While I’m talented enough as a DJ to beatmatch a song from your phone in/out of my mix, I just don’t want the fucking hassle.

  4. 4 SLYNK
    November 17, 2011 at 2:22 AM

    I love it when these people have their phones on FULL BRIGHTNESS in a dark club which temporarily blinds you like a fucking flash bang.

    I usually just grab the phone off them like there is a phone call for me then look confused when I can’t hear anyone and hand the phone back.

  5. November 17, 2011 at 7:05 PM

    You read my mind. I was just thinking about an asshole kept shoving a phone in my face all night.

  6. 6 Anonymous
    November 18, 2011 at 6:35 PM

    I had someone come up to me a few weeks back phone in hand. Had a song from a movie I don’t remember the name of. I explained I did not have it and that I did not have an internet connection(even though I did) to go searching for it. They were mad when I did not have a 3.5mm to rca cable to plug their phone in and said I need to be fired. I hate stupid people.

  7. 7 GeekGuy23
    November 28, 2011 at 4:23 PM

    Just hold up your own phone which will say “fuck off, dumbass” on it (or something similar).

  8. 8 Soo
    December 15, 2011 at 3:48 AM

    Step 1: carry your iPod cable to gigs
    Step 2: plug their iPhone/iPod in
    Step 3: reformat their Phone
    Step 4: hand their wiped phone back, shrug and say “must have been a glitch”

    That’ll learn em from ever givin their phone to another dj

  9. 9 OldschoolDJ
    December 22, 2011 at 9:23 PM

    I just take it and either, put it on the turntable and then try and put the needle on it or try and load it into the cd slot ….or try to plug my big ass headphone jack into their silly little phone …. they get the idea pretty quickly 😉

  10. 10 pghdjmarty
    March 20, 2012 at 2:29 PM

    One way to avoid playing anything that someone brings in (cd, i pod, mp3 player,i phone, etc) is to tell them that the PROFESSIONAL program that you use to play music will not allow me to play ANY kind of media once the program is up and running, let alone CONSUMER products not designed for djing. Watching them walk away after shooting down their brand new i phone as a dj tool is priceless!

  11. 11 Swinger DJ Scott
    July 23, 2012 at 3:44 PM

    What I always tell people is if I did not bring it, it will not get played. I refuse to plug in anyone else’s stuff to my system. Your shit will not get plugged into my computer because I don’t want viruses. And your shit won’t get plugged into my system because I don’t wanna deal with your bullshit. And the same goes for all of the video stuff. If I did not bring it, it will not get used.

  12. January 23, 2013 at 12:55 PM

    lmfao this guy came up to me at a bar during my first gig and shoved his phone in my face, telling me to play madonna from his phone. when i told him i couldnt play it, he got so mad and stormed off. i was like, “really?!”

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